Cinta Gila

Mampukah lagi aku menelan kepedihan yang terjamu depan mata? Meneguk racun kepalsuan yang terhidang di geluk derita? Kerja gila apa yang cuba kau sudahkan hingga hancur tugu setia? Luluh kota cinta? Gila! Kau terusan berdusta tanpa tahu yang aku tidak lagi percaya.

Senyumku bukan gembira, tapi sinis mendengar kepalsuanmu. Kau tabur sumpah yang kau sendiri takkan mampu menggalas. Takkan pernah terampun dosamu padaku. Takkan pernah kumaafkan janji yang tak kau kotakan. Biar hidup dan matimu sebagai manusia munafik.

Kalau kau sangka aku sedih kehilanganmu, ketahuilah..kau tak pernah memiliki aku.

Thanks, but no thanks

Thank you for your concern, but really I am fine. Considering the hard time I'm going through and I'm still standing, I would say I am more than fine. No reason why you should be worried about me, and no reason why I should be worried about me either.

I am as happy as I can be.. though not overjoyed, but neither am I sulking. I do need a companion, but as long as I have no one, I can still be happy with Ms me, Ms myself and Ms I. You need not ask me how am I doing, I can take care of myself.

Now let's go our own ways, and never ask about me again. There's no reason why I need to tell my guts feeling, I just don't feel like sharing it with anyone. I have my own life to live. And I believe, so do you.

Morning

Good morning everyone! It's a new day and I'm looking forward to baking cakes and cookies for tomorrow's opening of my friend's outlet. Well, I'll promote my stuffs there, hopefully will get a verrrry good response from friends and visitors alike.

For those of you guys who are interested to order my cakes and cookies, feel free to send me emails on my Facebook. I always check my emails there. Otherwise, give me a call at 017-6957611. Mind you, this line is strictly for business only. No hanky panky hokayyy? Uhhh.. but for now, better email me cos I'm out of credit for that line. Hehehe..;)

Okay guys.. enough about cakes and cookies. Awaiting your emails and calls.

Enjoy your day today. TTYL.

Lies

I had this question in my mind and need answer.

Why do people lie? I just don't understand why are people not happy with the truth? Try to camouflage themself as someone they are not? And they think people won't find out? As if the world is a very big space and they can hide the truth.

Well, let me see.. There are so many reasons that people lie to others. Like they do not want the other party to know about them, cause they are not sincere people. Or they are trying to take advantage of the other party, and telling the truth means the other party will not give in to them. Or they don't like the truth about them cause their life sucksss.. and they want people to think that they live such a happy life. Pity this kind of people.

The worst kind of lie is when you purposely tell people totally the opposite when being asked. Not telling is one thing, lying is another.

Well, I guess when the truth has at last be known, the least the liar can do is to explain why the lie. And if the liar simply did nothing to clear the air, that means that he/she does not even care if you find out the truth and your reaction to it. And they won't hesitate to lie again if given a chance.

Luka

Dan yang terakhirnya.. kutinggalkan jauh segala angan yang tak mungkin tercapai. Langkah kaki makin laju menuju destinasi yang entah dimana. Kata orang hidup ini satu perjalanan, bukan satu destinasi. Lantas perlukah aku terus berjalan tanpa henti? Berjalan, berlari dan terus..? Apa lagi?

Buntu aku dengan hidup. Sungguh! Aku bagai hilang arah. Bagai hilang punca. Bagai anak kucing hilang ibu. Tergagau dalam sepi tak bertepi. Sepi yang tiada penghujung. Dalam tawa aku menangis sendirian. Dalam senyum aku tenggelam dalam kesunyian.

Kadang aku ingin menangis. Tapi untuk apa? Terlalu banyak kepedihan hingga aku tak tahu luka mana yang paling berbisa. Dan aku tak tahu dipenjuru mana hatiku yang paling terluka. Yang mana harus aku tangiskan dahulu agar luka-luka yang lain dapat merasai kesedihan yang saksama.

Luka semalam belum lagi bercantum, hari ini aku menambah luka di dalam dada. Sedih yang makin sarat. Mata yang kian memberat. Biar! Biarkan luka itu terus berdarah. Biar! Biar sakit di hatiku makin parah!

I am strong

I refuse to be broken hearted. Though there's so many reason for me to break down and cry, but I won't! I will not let anybody to control my life..how I feel..how I should react!

I won't hate anybody cos hating means I still have emotions over them. I won't feel, I won't think, I won't remember! Don't for one second think just because you did what you did, I will cry over you. You are not the end of my world. Not even the beginning.

I will be strong.. and I will move on. I will face the world with pride and will not turn back. I will find my own happiness and enjoy my life to the fullest.

If being happy means I have to live without you, that is what I will have to do.

It's hard to be me!

As I describe myself, I am very difficult to understand. Not only that, I am also very very undecisive. I can't make up my mind on what to order when I'm at a makan place. And I can't make up my mind on where to go when I have a long break.. Owhh.. that explains the reason why I didn't go anywhere during CNY holiday.. Sighhh..now I know.

Know what happened yesterday.. I wanted to go out shopping for some things for my cakes. There were two bakery shops that I frequented when I need to resupply. So I drove my car to te left where the closer shop is situated. 2 minutes later, myself and I had a quarrel. Should I go to the left or to the right side shop.. And..being the undecisive me, made a u-turn, almost knocking down a motorcyclist and change path to the right. Hehehehe...

That's not the end of it.. :P.. then I thought that I could also get the things that I needed, and more, at Tesco. And myself and I quarreled again. Should I go to the right side bakery shop or to Tesco. And so I make a round trip at the park in front of my house to think.. :P. And then, I decided (huh!) to go to the bakery shop on the right. It's at Chow Kit road to be exact!

You thought I stopped there?? Nooo.. hehehe but at least I arrived safely at Chow Kit and had some of the things that I needed before I put it back on the rack!! Because I thought that I can get a better price at Tesco! And I drove all the way to Tesco (30 minutes drive!) , and compare the price for some of the things that I thought is cheaper and found out that.. no, the price is just about the same. Plus the fuel cost, and the time spent, I am better off buying all the things that I needed at Chow Kit and just get on with it!!!

A verrrrry long yesterday, huh??? Hahahahah ;)

Masih

Masih aku rindu dan pilu.. Tiada khabar yang kau kirim walau telah puas aku memujuk hatimu. Mengapa masih diam membungkam tanpa kata. Apa tiada lagi segugus setia yang dulu kita janji bersama?

Masih juga kau terus menyepi tanpa kata. Mungkin mengulik kecewamu, tapi bagaimana pula aku? Aku juga punya secebis kecewa yang tak terungkapkan. Sebagaimana engkau, aku juga punya jiwa yang telah terhiris. Tapi hati ini tetap rindu.. Jiwa ini tetap mendendang lagu cinta luka. Bagaimana harus terus aku lalui hari-hari sepi tanpa dirimu menemani.

Masih lagi hening di dinihari. Tanpa suara dan tanpa pesanan. Tanpa dering telefon dan pesanan ringkas. Segalanya diam..segalanya suram. Bagai musim bunga kini sudah berlalu dan aku kembali membilang sepi hari demi hari.

Akankah kau kembali mengisi kesunyian hari? Dan kembali mewarnai ceria bagai dulu? Akankah hari-hariku kembali menatap bening matamu?